|This site is devoted completely and exclusively to those that suffer from,and to the supporters of those who suffer from ClusterHeadaches!|
There are a few other sites out there dealing with Cluster Headaches, but noreal place to "interact" with other Cluster sufferers. There are a fewmessage boards where you can read posts dealing with Cluster Headaches, but sortingthrough all the migraine, tension, and other headache posts to find the few about Clustersis enough to bring on a headache!
Never again will you have to search, hour upon hour, for information on ClusterHeadaches! You now have a place to "hang out" that you can call our veryown. You now have a place to "vent" when you wake up at 3 a.m. with aheadache, the oxygen tank is empty, and you're out of Imitrex!
Finally...a place where you can talk to someone about how horrible your headaches areand know that they really do understand your pain.
Welcome to your new home on the internet!
Want to know what it's like to live with cluster headaches?Read below...
"...I've seen him walk down the hallway (holding onto thewall for dear life) with his head cocked to one side and walking like a 100-year old man.I've seen him cry, pull out his hair, and beg me to take him to the emergency room. On oneoccasion, I was driving the hospital - in the middle of the night - with 2 daughters inthe back seat and he's practically pushing the dash of the car through the windshieldbecause I'm not driving fast enough - and he's crying all the way. I know that he will doANYTHING - ANYTHING to get rid of this pain. I can't believe that most doctors don'trealize this - maybe they'd like to spend a couple of nights at my house and see what hegoes through !!!
When he's having the series of headaches he won't sleep because he knows that he will wakewith another one - what a terrible, scary feeling! Thank God I don't suffer from theseheadaches - but I feel so helpless when it comes to comforting him. After a while itstarts taking it's toll on me and our children. I dred for the night to come - sincethat's when most of his headaches recur and we start all over again!"
- Loretta (wife of a sufferer)
"I just gotten over an attack. I've been going 5weeks now non-stop. 4-6 attacks per day. No sleep. No relief. I'm exhausted. I keeptelling myself this hell is going to end soon, but I'm beginning to think that it's not. Ican't think. I can't eat. I can't leave my house. When I'm not in pain, I'm in dread of itcoming back. The attacks are increasing in intensity everyday and I sometimes think that Iwill go mad. I try everything to ease them a little and nothing seems to be working. Ireally don't know how much more I can take.
I keep telling myself that I am strong enough to deal with it. I'vebeen doing it for a long time now. But then the next one hits, and I become a wimperinglittle baby with no strength what-so-ever. My only saving grace is being able to writethis down and know that you will understand like no one else can. I'll close my eyes nowand hope that maybe I will sleep a little before the next one hits. Thanks for beinghere."
"It started about 2am... I was awakened from mysleep with this burning senstation in my ear and back of my neck, I tried to shiftpositions and return to my peaceful sleep, but it wasn't happening. Something in my mindtold me immediately that I was dealing with the same crap I did a couple years ago, andeven though I tried to convince myself that it wasn't the same, I KNEW it was.
My right eye felt like I took a couple punches, and my right nostril was starting to leak.I got out of bed, and went downstairs, all the while, this pressure in the right side ofmy brain kept building and building. My right eyelid was beginning to swell shut. I wassquinting and it was tearing. I kept looking at the tears coming out of my eyes, convincedthere was blood pouring out. I dropped to the floor and pressed my hands so hard againstmy temples that I thought I was gonna crush my skull, it wasn't helping. I got up andwell, I went insane. It's the only thing I think I can describe it.... stark ravinglunatic insane!
I was pacing from room to room, crying, flinging myself to the floor, getting back upagain... holding my head, squeezing my temples, I looked up to the MAN above and literallybegged him, that I would do anything, ANYTHING, just make this madness stop. He wasn't inthat morning, and I suffered. I wanted to die, just simply that, I wanted death to take meas I just could not deal with this excruciating, horrible, horrible pain. I was chewingTylenol like tic tacs.. screw swallowing, I was chewing them into a paste... 10 minutespassed, then 20, then 30... I swear my brain was cooked. I mean, the entire right side wasnumb from my forehead to behind my right ear. I was rocking myself in this chair wimperinglike a lost little boy, and then, as suddenly as it started... it was gone.
I was SO freakin exhausted, I couldn't find the strength to climb back up the stairs so Islept in the chair for 2 whole hours when the madness started all over again. I could notbelive this shitty ordeal was starting once again! Who the hell did I piss off to bringthis upon myself? I would not wish this on MY WORST ENEMY! By 6am, I was wasted. I mean, Ihad nothing left in the tank, I just didn't give a rats ass anymore. I just couldn'tbelieve it was finally over, or was it?
I was fine the entire day, a little worse for wear I will admit, but no headache... untilabout 2am the next morning, and the morning after that when it all started over again.Here I sit at 1am in the morning on the fourth night. I am terrified to go to sleep. It'slike a freakin' Freddy Kruger movie where everyone is fighting to stay awake, cuz theyknow what's comin' a knockin' once you fall asleep. Whomever said "You have nothingto fear, but fear itself" never had these kind of headaches. I don't fear much, but Itell you... I sure the hell fear what's gonna happen in the next few hours."
"It痴 somewhere between 11:00 P.M. and 3:00A.M., and I wake terrified, hopeful that I知 dreaming, and knowing that I知 not.I move quickly out of bed while my lovely wife of fifteen years, the only one who trulytries to understand, watches helpless; as there is nothing that she can do, she hurts too.I am careful not to wake the children as I make my way down the stairs. If they were towitness my nightly cluster ritual, they would never see me the same way again. Theirfather, fearless protector, diligent provider, crawling about in tears, beating his headon the hard wood floor.
The pain is so intense I want to scream, but I never do. I go down three flights of stairswhere I can't be heard, and drop to my knees. I place my hands on the back of my neck, andlock my fingers together. I bind my head between my arms and squeeze as hard as I can inan attempt to crush my scull. I begin to roll around, banging my head on the floor,silently groaning. I stand up and begin to pace, pressing my left eye with full force ofmy palm. I often wonder how it is that my eye isn't damaged. I search for the telephonethat has always been my weapon of choice for creating a diversion, and I beat my lefttemple with the hand piece. I create a rhythm as I strike my scull, cursing the demon witheach blow. I reach a point of distraction from the cluster, and then I start the wholeprocess over; roll and squeeze, crawl and bang, find the telephone.
Eventually, the cluster, whatever it is, drains from me. I can feel it passing through mytemple, and behind my ear where it seems to run out of my skull like water passing down apipe. Tonight it took two hours, yesterday was thirty minutes. Tomorrow only Godknows."
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